Potato Salad?
by Erica T
Summary: What happens when Vegeta has to make a whole day of meals? Better yet, what happens to Bulma's kitchen when he does?


  
  


Hey guys. This is a little story that I wrote for a little amusement. It pretty much solely humor. The basic plotline was developed by a friend of mine, and it stemmed from a few memories of spending 2 nights crammed into a hotel room with six other people. 

  
  


Disclaimer: DragonBallZ and it's ilk were not mine, are not mine and never will be mine. 

  
  
  
  


Potato Salad, Peanut Butter and Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs? 

  
  


Bulma winced when she opened her eyes. She hated mornings. And this morning was already not fun. She ran for the bathroom a second later and threw up. How she hated the flu. She trudged back to bed and flopped down intent on drifting off to sleep again....

"Woman. Wake up. Trunks and I require our morning food." Vegeta demanded. Bulma cracked open an eye.

"Screw off Vegeta. I've caught a flu virus. I'm not leaving this bed. You go and make your own food." 

"Hmmph. I do not cook."

"Too bad. Mom's away, I'm sick. Do it, or go and eat at McDonald's." She snapped, turning over in bed and falling asleep. Vegeta's face screwed up in disgust, fast food was even worse than the woman's pathetic food. He tiptoed angrily back out of the room and went downstairs. Trunks looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Where's Mama?" He asked.

"She is not well. We're to make our own food today." He relayed to him.

"But Papa....can you cook?" Trunks asked, worried. 

"Well, it can't be that hard. First, for breakfast we only need simple food." Vegeta mused, glancing around the kitchen.

"I know where the cereal is Papa! I can do breakfast!" Trunks exclaimed, jumping up and running to a cupboard. He produced three bulk packages of cereal. Vegeta took the boxes and read the writing. 

"'Corn Pops'? 'Honey Nut Cheerios'? Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs'? It's no wonder you are so energetic boy. The sugar in these could drive even a pure Saiyajin into insanity." Vegeta said, still frowning but not as much. 

"Mama says they're perfect for me."

"They probably are. Come on boy, where are the bowls?" 

Half an hour later, plus all of the cereal, Trunks was running around outside with Goten, and Vegeta was forced to watch, knowing that if Bulma caught them unmonitored, she would cut the power to the Gravity Chamber for a week. And besides that cereal was really doing something to his senses. He felt very weird indeed.

"Hey Papa! Come play with us!" Trunks yelled from across the yard. 

"Very well." 

  
  


Bulma woke up and glanced out the window briefly on her way to the toilet, and again on her way back. Was that really Vegeta out there, playing tag with the kids? Nah, couldn't be. She went back to sleep.

  
  
  
  


Vegeta sent Goten home at lunchtime, so that he could figure out what to do about the preparation of afore mentioned meal. But first...

"Let's see of your mother is better before we try anything." 

"Okay!" 

The pair trouped up to the bedroom, being as quiet as possible considering the sugar high they were on. Vegeta opened the door quietly, then Trunks flung himself onto the bed. Bulma shrieked but then laughed softly at his expression.

"Hi Mama. Are you better?" 

"A little, Trunks, a little. But, your Papa still has to cook." She said, smiling weakly. 

"Okay. We were just checkin'!" He giggled then took off, grabbing Vegeta's arm as he passed. "Come on Papa! I know where the bread is!" 

Vegeta allowed Trunks to drag him back downstairs, and into the kitchen. Vegeta looked around, selected a cupboard and pulled out two large plates while Trunks found the bread and margarine. But, then they ran into a problem. Neither had any idea where Bulma kept the sandwich stuff. 

"Should we ask Mama?" Trunks asked.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." Vegeta answered, imagining the ringing in his ears after she screamed at him for not being capable of finding a simple food item in a kitchen. 

"Well, lets just take everything out of the cupboards and see what we find." Trunks suggested. Vegeta raised an eyebrow, shrugged, then nodded. They set to work, but soon discovered that the only thing left in the kitchen was peanut butter. Several jars of it. 

"This will have to do." Vegeta said. 

200 peanut butter sandwiches, and a huge mess later found Vegeta outside training with Trunks. And enjoying it. The boy was still too small to take the Gravity Chamber on, but working in normal gravity was a change for Vegeta. It showed him how much he had improved. 

"Papa, you're too fast! I can't hit you!" Trunks complained.

"That's the point boy. If I let you hit me, you'll never be able to improve your speed. You have to learn to speed up." Vegeta told him. Trunks looked at him, smiled, and nodded. 

  
  


Bulma was walking around a little, straightening her stiff joints, before going back to bed. She stopped by a window to see what the rest of her family was doing. She watched Trunks try and hit Vegeta, then a small conversation. The next thing she knew, Trunks had increased his speed, and Vegeta was actually on the ground. He looked very surprised. 

"That's right!" He yelled, then flew back up. Bulma laughed, it wasn't every day that she saw this. She went back to sleep laughing.

  
  


Trunks plunked himself in a kitchen chair and rested his head on the table. He was tired from that productive workout of his with Vegeta. And now he was hungry. He lifted his head and peered at his father. 

"Papa? When's dinner?" 

"When I find the list of food your mother suggests, when she's not able to cook." Vegeta told him, while rummaging through a drawer stuffed with papers.

"You mean this one?" Trunks asked, holding up a piece of paper pulled from the wallboard.

Vegeta glanced at it, frowned, then took it. 

"Yes." He grumbled. 

"What's it say?"

"Hamburgers, Macaroni, and Potato Salad. What's potato salad?" Vegeta pondered out loud. Trunks shrugged.

"I dunno. A salad is a bunch of leafy green stuff with vegetables, and potatoes are round browny things. I've never had them together." He said.

"It says where the recipes are for all three. We shall just have to find them."

Trunks and Vegeta searched through the recipe cards, and strewing most of the wrong ones all over the floor, until they found the three they wanted. Hamburgers and macaroni were fairly easy things to make, and the pair could have those ready in no time. Potato Salad on the other hand, was a little more tricky. 

"This recipe calls for five potatoes. That is inappropriate. You eat five of these things on your own, and I eat double that. We shall just have to multiply the amounts called for. Fetch twenty potatoes for me Trunks." Vegeta said, pulling out a large, still clean pot.

Trunks ran off, and returned a moment later carrying an armful of potatoes.

"Here Papa!" He exclaimed happily. 

"Put them in the pot." Vegeta told him. Trunks obeyed then looked up at his father expectantly. 

Vegeta opened the fridge and rooted through it. He pulled out an egg carton.

"We need a lot of eggs." He said, and proceeded to dump them into a pot. 

"Now what?" Trunks asked.

"We wait for them to boil." Vegeta said. "Go and clean up. What would your mother say if she saw you at her table like that?" Trunks gasped and ran upstairs. Vegeta watched, perplexed at what had motivated him to say that. Vegeta glanced at the cooking pots, then wandered upstairs to shower. 

Trunks was the first back to the kitchen, and discovered to his dismay, two pots boiling over with water. 

"PAPA!!" He yelled. Vegeta appeared in an instant, cursing a little, but managed to get everything back into control, with only a little bit more mess. 

"Okay boy, get me the 'mayonaise' from the fridge while I cut these things up." Trunks went and got the large jar from it's spot in the fridge and returned to his father. 

"Here Papa." He said handing him the jar. Vegeta took it, then ladled the required amount (multiplied) with the rest of it in a bowl. 

"Pepper." He said, Trunks scampered over to the stove and returned with a pepper shaker. Vegeta sprinkled some of that on.

"ACHOO!" He sneezed after inhaling. 

"Bless you Papa. Can we eat now?" Trunks asked.

"Yes. We can eat now." Vegeta said, sniffing.

  
  


Bulma wandered downstairs the next morning, feeling well enough to eat, therefore a lot better. She encountered first, Vegeta and Trunks asleep on the couch together with a bunch of movie covers littering the floor. 

"Productive night, huh guys." She said pulling a blanket over them. Then she wandered into the kitchen. Mistake. Big mistake. She stood in the door and stared. There were recipe cards everywhere, usually stuck to peanut butter globs on the floor. Dishes overflowing in the sink, water stains on the stove, eggshells, cereal boxes, milk cartons, empty peanut butter jars. Not to mention the stuff that had been removed from the cupboard in search of the peanut butter. Bulma twitched. She blinked. And then computed what had gone on the day before. 

"AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!" She screamed. "VEGETA I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" 

  
  


"Woman, I don't feel well enough as it is without your screaming."

She whirled around to find a rather sickly looking Vegeta standing behind her. 

"I'm not surprised considering I can tell exactly what you ate yesterday by reading the floor!" She growled. 

"I only did what you said."

"You could have cleaned up!"

"I'm the Prince of Saiyajins. I do not clean." 

"Well, I'll tell you this bub, that's the last time I let you cook."

"Good." 

"Now go back to bed you stupid ass, before you throw up on the carpet and make this mess worse."

  
  
  
  


AN: Thanks Leanne. Those numerous phone calls have another purpose after all. 

For anyone who cares, the potato salad part came from a 2 am thought while I was away at an Anime convention. We were sitting around laughing, and someone pointed out that at that point we could have read the ingredients to potato salad out loud and then laughed just as much. 


End file.
